2015 was not my favorite year.
I'm not being dramatic; it wasn't ALL bad, but I think 2015 was a year of staleness for me. The growth that I wanted to see in a lot of things just wasn't at a place I can even remotely be satisfied with. Whether that's my relationship with God, friends, career, family, it just really felt like I shut my eyes Jan 1, 2015, and when I opened them again, I found myself in 2016.
I think I came to this realization during my 2-week vacation in NorCal (seriously, that was so nice!!). Reflecting was a lot easier with less noise around me to be distracted by. Seriously, the irony that I went to an overpopulated state to find quiet is pretty funny!! But back to my point: even after almost 2 and a half years in Colorado, I still find myself just floating in and out of church services. I definitely don't keep in touch with family and friends back at home with the care that they deserve, and that's when I realized everything in 2015 just seemed... stale in my life.
Now that I've written it out, it may not seem like much, but my heart just has this sense of anxiousness, and I have no other reason for this other than my heart has forgotten who its leader is. It's hard to remain neutral spiritually. You're either heading towards the direction of cold or the direction of hot. And quite like the weather out here, it's been pretty icy roads in my heart as of late too. It's not jadedness or resentment, just... staleness.
But here's the beauty of this: I'm really believing 2016 will be a better year. No matter what that looks like on the outside, the important part is my resolution to take better care of my "inside." They say the first step in fixing a problem is admitting you have one, right?!
And on the flip side of the coin, to say the nothing happened in 2015 would also be a lie. I finally started recording more music. I have a more stable living situation. I've explored many parts of Colorado, and even took a trip to New Mexico and Hawaii. I watched my brother become a husband. I've made a whole bunch of new friends this year.
So 2015, thank you for everything that's happened, thanks for the way it ended, and here's to a fruitful 2016!!
 |
| Point Reyes |
 |
| Monterey |
 |
| Big Sur |
 |
| Mission Peak |
